Woman's Own Magazine, 'I hid £30,000 debt from my husband,' September 4, 2006When Roz Cross, 49, from Hertfordshire, helped out her student daughters, she had no idea where it would lead.
Woman's Own Magazine
'I hid £30,000 debt from my husband'
The cash machine spat out my bank card, and my heart sank. My husband Rob, stood a short distance away, oblivious to my predicament.
'I think the machine's broken. Can you buy this week's shopping?' I shouted over. I hated lying, but I didn't dare to tell Rob, 55, the truth. We've always kept our money separate throughout 28-year marriage.
My financial problems started in 1999, when our eldest daughter, Amy, now 25, went to university. Although she received a grant, I still sent her money - or 'Red Cross parcels', as she called them! By the end of her first year, I'd given her £4,000. I knew that Rob would have made Amy get a part-time job if he'd known, but I wanted her to concentrate on her studies.
When Lynsey, now 23, went to university in 2001, my problems doubled. I was giving my daughters £600 a month - half my salary. Within two years, I was £2,000 overdrawn and owed £8,000 on five credit cards. I took out a high-interest loan to cover the debts.
When Amy graduated in 2002, she could only get a part-time job, so I still gave her money. Then in October 2003, I fractured my spine and was signed off work, only getting £12.50 a day statutory sick pay. By this time, I couldn't even afford the minimum payments on the credit cards - which amounted to £1,200 a month.
I was getting seven or eight phone calls a day from creditors, so I unplugged the phone and threw away the bills without opening them.
When a friend committed suicide a year ago, I finally took my head out of the sand. She was only 23, and had left a note to say she couldn't cope with the debt she'd built up.
I thought I owed around £15,000, but when I rang a debt agency, I was told the figure was £30,000.
In shock, I considered taking an overdose, but realised I couldn't do such a thing to my family. I knew I had to own up, so one night in January over dinner, I blurted out the words, 'I've got problems with debt'.
Rob and the girls looked at me in silence. When I told them how much I owed, Rob was furious at first, but then he gave me a big hug. 'Why didn't you say anything?' he said. 'I've been worried sick wondering why you were so down all the time.'
I found a company called Money, Debit & Credit, which set up an Individual Voluntary Agreement (IVA) for me. It's a legal agreement whereby your creditors agree to write off some of your debt, as long as you pay back what you can afford. Since the New Year, I've been paying £250 a month.
Rob and I are more open with one another now, and the girls are working. These days it's Lynsey who lends me cash!
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